Every relationship is unique…by the way that’s one of my favorite quotes.
In life, we meet diverse people, who we interact with, but the prerogative of choosing any of the people that we meet daily as “friends” is ours to do. No one chooses who we allow to be our friends for us. Certain things draw people to us, certain things triggers our emotions, so choose wisely.
Setting out to date entails being willing to accept each other’s differences, tolerate each other’s flaws, build each other, learn and unlearn. There is no relationship with zero issues, there is no relationship filled with just gold, there is no promise or guarantee that you won’t feel hurt or bad (dating or married), there are lots of understanding and misunderstanding to deal with, but in the midst of all that you have to put up with or deal with, you need not to Photoshop the character of whoever you are dating, all in the name of not wanting to lose the person. Whatever you do not address now, be willing to live with when you eventually get married.
Marriage does not change anyone who has not decided to change. Photo shopping your partner’s character by constantly seeing yourself as the cause of the problem…just be ready to dance to the tone you have set for yourself.
It’s been believed by so many that, you let your heart guide you through a romantic relationship…while this is true, but I must add that it is better to walk into a relationship with your heart, allowing both heart and head to lead you, especially your head.
Aside from your romantic relationship, any relationship that does not add or build you…please, take a closer look at that. Evaluate that relationship, be it romantic relationship or any kind of relationship.
Evaluation is simply reviewing or checking the progress of something. I will, outline few questions and points to help you review your relationship.
1. Has your relationship become a threat to the existing relationships you have built over the years, especially the ones that have kept you excelling in all your endeavors?
If you must keep soaring in life, if you must keep basking in the euphoria of your romantic relationship…make sure that the presence of your life partner, does not swallow or destroy other remarkable existing relationship(s) you have built over the years.
It’s true that there are things to let go and associations to let go at some point in your relationship, but you have to be wise in knowing what and who to let go just for your romantic relationship.
2. How has your romantic relationship built you or has it impacted you since you walked into it?
Relationships…add, multiply, subtract, build, transform, divide or destroy you. So what will it be for you? If your partner is not adding to you, your partner is definitely subtracting or dividing you. Adding now, does not necessarily depict money, it could be in terms of intellectual, resilience building, and whatever that matters to you.
3. Are you scared of airing your views to your partner? Is your partner scared of airing his or her views to you? Do you have to put your living on hold?
If any of these is true with you, review your relationship. It could be that you have not yet embrace each other properly as friends where you can respectfully air your views or that you as a person is still having issues with self-esteem. Your partner could be having issues with self-esteem thereby coming out quickly or hardly on you in order to cover him or herself.
As you are reviewing your relationship, also review your life style. Learn to have conversation with your partner. Disuses whatever it is that is bothering you and causing you not to freely air your view, if it has to deal with your partner By having the conversation, he or she will understand where you are coming from and it will open the door for change.
Remember you and your partner came from different backgrounds, it could be that he/she came from an upbringing where no body’s views matters, and you dare not say your mind, you only take in whatsoever it is that you have been told, thereby having no mind of your own, which is in contrast to your upbringing, where everyone’s opinion matters.
You evaluate this particular issue by having conversation with your partner in order to figure out what the problem is. Also whatever it is that is the problem could be the product of your mindset, which you have to work on.
In evaluating your relationship, it all boils down to what matters to you. Whatever matters to you in your romantic relationship is what you go for. The big question is…Is it what you can cope or live with?
There are a lot of sacrifices to be made being in a relationship with your partner, but be certain that other relationships that you have built over the years are not struggling to survive, and that they are not suffering.
Be sure that you can respectfully air your view and be certain that your life, your dreams are not weighing down in the presence of your romantic relationship.
When your relationship start demanding from you, more than you can give, to the extent of causing pains, depression or uneasiness…please evaluate it.
you do not marry out of sympathy.
THANKS FOR READING. LET’S GET YOUR VIEWS ON THE COMMENT SECTION.